No longer is it so simple to physically, or emotionally, protect my children.
Neither is it my privilege or responsibility.
They have always been, and continue to be, in God’s caring hands.
April 2013, by Debe Haller
The intensity of the past sixteen days has me pondering parenthood anew. While still recuperating from major shoulder surgery a few weeks ago, this season finds my emotions raw and my body vulnerable in persistent pain, but my spirit filled with the joy of the Lord. Due to the life-threatening illness of our oldest son, I spent the past two weeks, 24/7, in Bryan’s hospital room, then at his home, assisting with his care. This week is a particularly difficult season in the lives of all four of my grown children.
In retrospect, raising children somehow seems effortless compared to having grown children. God is building new good-ol-days in my life so I should stop longing for the real old ones. Instead, I can fondly reminisce the years that past so quickly and embrace this new season with eager anticipation, or become a grumpy old grandma.
Homeschooling for 29 years, mostly around the huge covered pool table in our garage, I thoroughly enjoyed age- integrated studying with my kids, intimately bonded with each one as God blessed us with tons of time together, delighted daily in laughter, hugs and meaningful conversations. Now, even the ability to strap them into car seats to assure their safety, albeit taxing at times back then, is now a precious memory. No longer is it so simple to physically, or emotionally, protect my children. Neither is it my privilege or responsibility. They have always been, and continue to be, in God’s caring hands.
During this Easter season, I not only praise God for His risen Son, but also for raising our son, Bryan, from his seriously ill status. It will be a long process, but Bryan will recover from multi-nodule toxic thyroid, and a couple other diagnosis contributing to his critical condition. Not only has the primary care doctor and gastroenterologist been surprised at the toll these illnesses have taken on Bryan, but the endocrinologist said, in his 30+ years of practice, he has never seen anyone bed-ridden this long with toxic thyroid. Even though he is a grown man, my heart remains heavy each time I stroke his forehead, just as I did when he was my little boy and very sick. Although needing to recline, rest, and sleep, what a blessing our family shared when Bryan was able to come to our home to celebrate Easter.
Our son, Brock, accepted a new position with his employer. This is a great advancement for his career, one needed when raising a family of four children. It will require Brock to commute from Orange County to the California/Nevada border until his family moves to Henderson, Nevada. While jumping on a trampoline, Brock sprained his ankle while celebrating their youngest son’s 6th birthday at Jump Sky High. We pray for Brock’s healing, the transition details of their eventual move, that they will find a new residence, a home church, Christian friends, and that God will glorify Himself through their family. (Update 3 years later: We helped pack and caravan Brock and his family to with their move on July 4, 2015. And yes, God has answered our prayers and has glorified Himself in their lives.)
Our daughter, Bethany (US Army medic), is stationed in Virginia. She was in the emergency room three days in a row and finally diagnosed with the swine flu. Now with the correct diagnosis, and medications, she is on the road to recovery as well. Additionally, she is waiting for surgery on her leg to repair a mild fracture and torn muscle. We are confident that God will restore her to health.
Our daughter, Becky, is severely anemic, and suffering the effects of such a diagnosis. We are praying for wisdom on the best means of treatment, but ultimate curing by our faithful Healer. She is working part time with us in our clinic as a weight loss coach and is on her way to her healthy personal weight as well.
God remains faithful over all my babies and He loves them even more than I do. He is my Awesome Assurance. It is also a reminder that none of us will ever ‘arrive’, on this earth, to that place we elusively think will be the fulfilment of our joy. God continues to grow us in each new season of life. Embrace the season you are in now as it is God's preparation for the next one. His purpose for us: to grow us in the image of His Son, because He loves us.
From Psalm 37:
“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret… it only causes harm. But those who wait on the LORD, They shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more; Indeed, you will look carefully for his place, But it shall be no more. But the meek shall inherit the earth, And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”
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