February 2010, one week before my mom came to our home on hospice. By Debe Haller
The intense afternoon sun has turned half of the rippling ocean to glaring white between my gaze from the 8 th floor window and Catalina Island. As I sit with this magnificent view in Newport Beach and sip my tea while attempting to finish this article I started several weeks ago, it might seem as though I am on vacation.
Lying on the bed in front of me is my very ill mother. We are on the oncology unit at Hoag Hospital for her third admission in the past four weeks. Originally given a three-to- five-year probability of survival, praise God she is in her tenth year battling multiple myeloma.
Challenging circumstances surrounding our family are no different than those of so many other families. Each of our four grown children is facing an overwhelming situation. So many of you are also experiencing many curves, bumps, lions, and tigers, and bears, ohmy, on your paths as the enemy attempts to discourage all of us.
Routine and structure is of paramount importance to many people, especially so for those with autism. However, life does not always allow us to get our ducks in a row, let alone maintain them in order.
Over the past several weeks, my 13-year-old grandson, Bubs, has learned a lot about flexibility, patience, and loving until it hurts. Even after twenty-five years of homeschooling, I am learning that academics sometimes take a back seat to periodic life lessons. Bubs is being stretched as he cares for his 3-month old Shih-poo therapy-dog- in-training, Binky, and lives an unpredictable schedule as we care full-time for my mother. God has blessed us with many difficult, yet invaluable, opportunities to experience lessons that would otherwise not present themselves with such boldness and urgency to be attained.
I wonder why I even bother to ponder what any given day will hold! The dishwasher and washing machine conspiring to malfunction the same week has added to our depths of elasticity and ability to laugh rather than cry. We are truly living each day knowing that it will unfold in His timing, not ours, and requires flexibility from what I had planned.
Fondly I recall Bubs’ simple statement on one of our recent trips to the hospital. Rather than grumble (again) because our days were being turned upside-down one after another, he calmly said to me, “Life is so unexpecting.” Wow. God is good as He uses this wonderful boy with special needs to teach me while I am teaching him. Our conversation on important things in life fell on fertile soil.
God’s Word assures us in Romans 11:36, “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things, To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” He purposes all things. His timing is perfect. His will for our lives is to conform us to the image of His Son. He draws us to Himself, wraps us in His unyielding threads of grace, and yet teaches us patiently as we struggle and question Him.
The author of a recently published secular book said about some of life’s circumstances, “The situation is dire, perspective is not.” If you are like me, circumstances often leave me feeling overwhelmed. But quickly God’s grace renews my attitude and refocuses me on Him.
My heart is heavy, my body is tired, my emotions are exhausted, my brain is numb, my adrenals are fatigued, but my spirit is strong by the faithfulness of our all-knowing and loving heavenly Father.
“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God”
–Psalm 42:11
My prayer for you is to experience His grace and renewing of your attitude as you face “life’s unexpecting” challenges. Draw near to God and hold fast, dear friends.
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